Thursday 26 February 2015

There's Too Much On Display at a Jjimjilbang

A jjimjilbang is a spa/bath house, they are very common in Korea. Jjimjilbangs are always touted as a tourist “must do” but, I never really got round to it, until this week.


The first time I became aware of a jjimjilbang was around a year ago when I was sitting in a pub in Bupyeong with Toner and James. The conversation got onto jjimjilbangs, and due to my lack of insight I asked, “what’s a jimjil-thing?” James went on to explain and, James being James, suggested that we went to one there and then.

“Come on, guys! You’re in Korea, you’ve got to try these things!” James probably said. Josh and I passed on his offer and, for once, we got the better of James’ positivity and enthusiasm for life.

My second interaction with a jjimjilbang was when I was innocently looking for a barbershop, to get my hair cut. I found a spinning barber pole and went inside. The “barbershop” was in a basement, I walked down the stairs and was greeted by an old lady who handed me a towel and charged me ₩7,000 up front. Slightly confused by the towel I entered anyway. I was forced to take my shoes off upon entry and was shown to a row of lockers. I was very confused at this stage. As I stood trying to work out this strange Korean barber custom a naked Korean man walked past me with the biggest bush I’d ever seen. “Oh crumbs, I’m in a jjimjilbang.” Well, I had already paid by that stage, I may as well get my haircut.

I wandered over to the barber and said “haircut?” He said yes, and showed me over to the lockers again. I tried my best to explain that I just wanted a haircut but, for the third time he ushered me to the lockers to get undressed. Eventually, I just sat down in the barber’s chair and he took the hint. As I sat in the chair I saw something I had never seen before whilst getting my hair cut. Normally, I stare at myself in the mirror and mentally criticise the job the barber is doing, but this time was different. This time I saw multiple naked men in the mirror as they undressed to enter the spa. Knob after knob wandered past catching my attention each time. I paid and left.

Anyway, I decided to give the jjimjilbang experience a try.

I went to the Dragon Hill Spa in Yongsan, one of the more elaborate jjimjilbangs in Seoul. First of all I went to the locker room, stripped off and changed into the casual pyjamas that are given to you upon arrival. I walked around the common areas, this specific jjimjilbang had it all. There were noraebangs (karaoke rooms), a video game arcade, a restaurant, a PC room, screen golf, a cinema, as well as the more traditional saunas, and ice rooms. I’m not such a fan of saunas and ice rooms. When it was summer I’d complain about the heat, but there I was voluntarily going into an uncomfortable room. And now it’s currently winter, it’s 0°C outside and I’m wrapped up with a warm coat, hat, and gloves, but I’ve paid to go to a place to put on pyjamas, and sit in a freezer encouraging frostbite. They don’t make sense to me. 

I went to the wash room. It was very strange. James said the being naked thing is normal, which I suppose amongst other men it is, but there were children about. Being white and having a beard in Asia most people already assume that I'm a paedophile. To Asians there's no difference between me and Gary Glitter. Being naked around children was weird. Not only that to get from the changing room to the showers you had to walk through a snack bar and past the kids TV area. Being a teacher I'm used to children laughing at me but not normally when I'm naked, it was like a living nightmare.

In the wash room I sat at the waist height taps and scrubbed myself down using the communal soap. Ahh, the communal soap. How many sets of balls have been cleaned with that one bar? You can add another set to the tally. After the rinse I got in the Jacuzzi. I've been in many Jacuzzis in my time, but this was the first time I'd been in one naked with 6 elderly Korean men. As I sat there the hordes of naked boys came in. I realised that it’s less uncomfortable to be naked around old men than young boys.

An encouraged experience at the jjimjilbang is the body scrub. During this process someone takes a flannel and takes all the dead skin off your body. Something I didn’t realise until yesterday was how sensitive your skin is until someone takes a layer of it off with a Brillo Pad. I had a scab on my shoulder when I went in there. Had. Skin grows back, doesn’t it?

Sometimes in my life I consider the choices that I have made and assess where I am and what I’m doing. However bad life can get for me I don't think it will be as bad as the male body scrubber in a jjimjilbang. He charges ₩15,000 to rub old men down (and even does a discount for children (see, I told you it's weird)). That's around £9. Not even Thai ladyboys charge that little...so I've been told. The guy that gave me a rub down (not that kind) certainly wasn’t shy, his Brillo Pad covered every inch of my body and entered every crevice. I suppose I got my money’s worth.


My final verdict on jjimjilbangs is that I did feel relaxed, my skin was incredibly soft after the body scrub, and 24 hours later my it has started to grow back. So if you’re into relaxation and naked children then this is a Korean experience you must not miss. 

The comedian Conan O'Brien visited a jjimjilbang recently. You can watch his analysis of it below.