Indonesia: Yogyakarta & Mount Bromo

Straight from Singapore we stationed in Yogyakarta, a city known for its variety of scenery from mountains to sand dunes to dense jungles. Unfortunately the weather wasn't too kind to us during our stay so we really had to narrow down our scheduled activities.

Our first stop was Indonesia's most visited tourist destination, Borobudur Temple. I'm not the biggest fan of temples, so I made sure to only visit one on this journey and this was it. 

We took the bus there which was an experience in itself. I mean, I say that as a tourist I suppose it wasn't as fun for the locals who were hauling huge sacks of vegetables bought from the market on and off the bus every other stop. I could have helped, but I didn't want to break the fourth wall.

Upon entry they explained that as this is a respected holy place that the outfits Eunju and I were sporting were too provocative showing too much leg. I say if you've got it flaunt it. Alas, I caved to their demands and donned a sarong type garment.

I must say that I really warmed to it. It was so liberating to be in something that I felt comfortable wearing. The slit enabled me to reveal a bit of upper thigh which really enticed the lads. After a few minutes I was sold, just call me Brendie Izzard.

The rain held off just long enough to explore the temple and enjoy the view of the thick vegetation surround this sightseeing hot spot.

We stayed at a hostel called Hati Hati, which was themed on the mantra "don't worry, be happy". It was hard to adopt this belief as there was an Islamic Mosque directly across the street, not that uncommon in Indonesia. The location is perfect for someone who wants to attend the mosque, but a little inconvenient for someone who wants to sleep in. The formal prayers started around 6am at sunrise and were repeated 5 times a day. Just after the Maghrib prayer at sundown we headed for the bar street. 

The next morning we checked the forecast and had a sunshine window of opportunity. We hopped on a scooter and made way for Curug Pulosari. It's off the beaten track and because of the recent downpours we had this secluded waterfall all to ourselves. It was peaceful and beautiful.

Yogyakarta is unique within Indonesia in that is has been given the status of "Special Administrative Region" meaning that it is the only region in Indonesia to be ruled by a monarchy. It was awarded this due to their contribution in aiding the survival of the Indonesian Republic. So, in our remaining time in the city we meandered around the palaces, where the Sultan of Yogyakarta still resides. It was pretty underwhelming. It seemed less of a palace and more of a bus station. It was so underwhelming in fact that I didn't even take a single picture of it. 

We made our way over to the Water Palace, a place where the sultan would relax, taking in a puppet show along the way. I'm not sure what I was expecting with the puppet show, but it was far from interesting. There's a reason why it's traditional entertainment because if it was any good it'd be on Netflix.

Eunju is the one on the left

And that drew to a close our time in Yogyakarta. We just had a short flight over to Surabaya where we were scheduled to take a sunrise tour of Mount Bromo, one of Indonesia's largest active volcanoes. 

We were picked up at midnight and travelled to the mountain. Arriving at around 4am we had an hour and a half to kill until sunrise. Previous to our tour we had been enjoying temperatures of 30°C+, but at the top of the volcano it was down to 11°C. Sure, it was chilly, but some people had dressed as it they were heading for the arctic. Hats, scarves, gloves, and jackets were all on sale, but I wasn't prepared to buy a scarf on holiday in Indonesia. And anyway, I'd just been tolerating Siberian winds in Beijing, light drizzle and a minor chill were nothing to us.

The time passed slowly. Minutes felt like hours. The drizzled worsened and there was a thick mist that was impossible to see through. If someone had said to me, 'would you like to watch the sunrise from the comfort of your warm bedroom?' I probably wouldn't bother waking up for it. 'Would you travel 3-4 hours, climb a mountain in the rain to see bugger all?' Yes, mate. Well up for that. 'And would you like to share that experience with 2,000 other people?' Even better. 

Officially at 5:33am, according to my phone the sunrise had happened and I saw none of it. It was that moment I realised I had wasted my time and money. 

Just as we were heading down the treacherous mountain roads, the clouds parted and we got to see our post sunrise. The sun shone through the clouds over the mist covering the mountains. It was spectacular. 

Further down the mountain we stopped on the Sea of Sand to take some more pictures. We drove over the volcanic sands with a feeling of astonishment. 

We climbed to the peak of the volcano to get a glance of the smoke emitting from it and drew in a big lungful of smelly sulphur dioxide. Either that or the previous nights Indonesian food was making a second occurrence. You could feel the warmth from it too which was welcomed. 

Back to Surabaya we had some time to kill before our early evening flight. We relaxed for a few hours while it rained outside. Our hostel was only 30 minutes from the airport, so we were packed and were left waiting for a taxi, the trouble was that we couldn't get one. After a long painstaking wait, we were on our way when we immediately hit traffic. The rain was coming down harder and flooded the roads 30cm high. I'd never seen rain quite like it. This intensified the traffic. There is nothing more stressful than being in traffic on the way to the airport (well, there are, but for the sake of this story there aren't). The minutes passed like seconds as we sat hopelessly. It eventually took us almost 3 hours to reach the airport and therefore we missed our flight to Bali.

We needed to book another flight, but the airport staff were far from helpful. We got online and our options were limited. We had to settle for one of the morning 2 days later. When I attempted to book these flights my credit card wouldn't work, so I had the joy of talking to their customer service department. By the time we had our flights booked all the restaurants had closed. I was truly pissed off. Over some dry KFC Eunju looked at me and said "smile". You'd have to be a mentalist or a Mormon to smile in that situation. I calmly replied "tomorrow".

This meant we had a day and a bit in Surabaya. Let me tell you, there isn't much to do there. The options were to take a tour of a cigarette factory or look around the zoo, which is most famous for their terrible treatment and conditions for the animals. You know you're in for a long wait if the city you're in is mostly known for cancer sticks and animal cruelty.

We made our morning flight to Bali and I smiled at Eunju.

A shout-out goes to Eunju as she had to tolerate a significant period with a miserable bastard. 

24 Hours in Singapore

Modern Singapore was established in 1819 by Sir Thomas Raffles. He opened a port free of taxes to encourage traders to leave the ports governed by the Dutch. After some time the freedom of trade, loose morals and almost absent policing drew in the worst kind of people. After 30 years there were only 12 police officers for the 60,000 people in the city and this led to widespread prostitution, gambling, and drug abuse. These days it has all been cleared up. Gambling is now regulated, possession of drugs results in a mandatory punishment of death, and the prostitutes were all too expensive for my budget, for these reasons Eunju and I only stayed in Singapore for 24 hours.

Walking down the streets of Singapore it almost feels like the British had never left. The Salvation Army, Costa Coffee, Cash Converters...I wondered if I was in downtown Singapore or on Bedford high street.

Our first stop on our itinerary was to see The Gardens By the Bay. They are quite fantastic and probably are the best gardens I've ever been to. Mind you, I don't frequent gardens all that much unless they're attached to a pub and the sun is shining.

Next we headed to the Marina Bay Sands building (the big ship one). It sort of summed up the city as a whole. As well as a luxury hotel it is a luxury shopping centre, of which I could afford very little. I think I'd need a trip to Cash Converters just to afford the parking fees. 

One of our "must dos" was to eat at a Michelin star restaurant (what a tyre company knows about judging restaurants is beyond me, but it seems a reputable guide). The restaurant we had in mind was Hong Kong Soya Sauce Chicken Rice & Noodle owned by Chan Hon Meng, this meant another trip to Chinatown (our second visit to two different Chinatowns having only just recently left the actual China town of Beijing!)

The reason for our visit to Hong Kong Soya Sauce Chicken Rice & Noodle was that it is officially the cheapest Michelin starred restaurant in the world. The restaurant owner has quite a nice story. A man from humble beginnings left school at 15 to work in a restaurant. He learned his trade from a Hong Kong chef and soon opened his hawker-style food cart. A representative from Michelin visited his stall and awarded him a star commenting that a star is awarded for quality of food, not how nice the restaurant is. Well, this guy seized his opportunity and cashed in on his 15 minutes of fame. The stall has gone and has been replaced by a fast food-style restaurant donning his star. And here it is, Michelin star advertising but sub-McDonald's quality.

Dry, cold rice, bony meat, and being hassled by the other customers for a table all for S$3.80 (£2.00). I can't help but feel I was overcharged. 

The day was coming to a close and our itinerary was almost concluded, luckily there was an Arsenal game to keep us entertained. Let's not talk about the score though. 

In the evening we left Clarke Quay and strolled down to the bay. We stopped by the statue of the big man. Sir Thomas Stamford Raffles. It was this very spot where is boat first landed on Singaporean shores on the 28th of January 1819, and it's fair to say his vision has become a success.

The next morning we flew out to Indonesia concluding our short-lived time in Singapore. 24 hours was possibly enough (especially at Singaporean prices!) on to the next one.

Malaysia: KL, Picturesque Beaches and Jellyfish

China can wear you down very easily, so this extended break over Chinese Spring Festival (Chinese New Year) was much needed. Our first of many destinations was to Langkawi, Malaysia. We arrived to stunning weather and shortly after arriving at our hostel were straight down the beach.

The island is idyllic, something you imagine to see on a post card. There are very few people there making it the ideal relaxation destination. We strolled along the pristine white beach of Pantai Cenang and forgot about all our worries. This lasted for about 10 minutes when I received a sharp, stabbing pain in my ankle. I looked down only to see a small jellyfish. I ran from the water in tremendous pain with my entire foot tingling. I had never been stung by a jellyfish before so wasn't sure how to treat the pain. My mind went to that episode of Friends when Monica gets a sting and Joey has to pee on it. I was tempted to ask Eunju to pee on my ankle, but I don't think we're at that stage of our relationship yet. And anyway, asking your girlfriend to do things like that just ends up with a fetish of golden showers and I don't need that mental trauma in my life.

I thought the best idea would be to Google how to treat such a sting. I hobbled down the beach a little further and found a bar. I ordered a pint and a plate of chips before asking for their WiFi password, it's rude otherwise. 

The first Google search returned a step-by-step method of what to do in such a painful event.

1. Tell an adult.
   This may have been a website for children, but the information was still relevant. I looked around and only saw Eunju and barmen who served an injured man alcohol, so I skipped this step.
2. Don't wash the sting with fresh water.
   I was on holiday, I had lager with no fresh water in sight.
3. Clean the sting with vinegar
   I had already ordered my chips, so the vinegar would go well on both. And I'm British so I smell of salt and vinegar most of the time anyway.
4. Advise someone to take you to the hospital if they notice the following symptoms:
   a) Struggling to drink - definitely not an issue as I'd seen away a pint by that stage
   b) Muscles twitching - I haven't got any to twitch in the first place
   c) A change in vocal tone - I have a Korean girlfriend, if I don't change my tone then we can't communicate
   d) Feeling nauseous - that could be the sting or the beers on the flight

It turned out that I didn't require to go to the hospital, vinegar did the trick and it worked for my ankle too. 

After some research, it turns out that there are large numbers of jellyfish in the waters surrounding Pantai Cenang. They can potentially paralyze or even kill people. I say just give them another 3% and make them water. 

We spent the rest of the evening relaxing and enjoyed the sunset. I realised that I was in a place so far removed from Beijing. I was on a sparsely populated beach, no one was spitting, the skies were clear and I had unlimited access to Google. After my jellyfish search I made sure to Google The Tiananmen Square Massacre of 1989 just because I could.

We spent the following few days scooting around the island and pretty much covered all the hot spots. Although, we never made it to Kok Beach despite Eunju's persuasions. 

Our few days on Langkawi were over too quickly and we make the short journey to the capital, Kuala Lumpur. We only allotted a short time here so we had a lot to pack in. Having just left Beijing the first place we headed to was Chinatown, mainly because that's where we were staying and secondly because we were missing that sound of someone hocking phlegm and the Beijing bikini.

We just had to try the southeast Asian delicace of durian. It's a fruit which is famous for its terrible smell but delicious taste. Eunju's face will tell you everything you need to know. It smells bad, and tastes worse.

We took in the sights of the city before finishing the evening at Heli Lounge Bar. This is probably the coolest bar I've ever been to. It's an operational heli pad at the top of the Menara KH building, but in the evening it becomes a rooftop bar serving drinks 34 floors up. We got a great view of the city and it rounded off our time in KL perfectly. I just wish I had a decent camera to capture that moment better.


Our week in Malaysia was over and we were making the short trip to Singapore. I was one of many British people to have left Malaysia, it's just I'm leaving this country with a little more dignity than my countrymen did in January 1942 when British forces retreated to Singapore after conceding defeat to the Japanese invasion. Eunju and I united and shared a moment to loathe the Japanese.