New York, New York...That Closes at One

New York – The City that Never Sleeps, The Melting Pot, The City of Apples.

This famous city was to be the destination for our family holiday. It was a welcome break too as I hadn’t seen them in 9 months or so. Expectations were high for this one, especially considering it is touted as “the greatest city in the world”, but it’s not like Americans to exaggerate or boast.

The trip didn’t start off too well. First, there was a visa issue which almost prevented me from travelling, and once that was sorted I had an 8,000-mile journey from Seoul to New York, via Shanghai (no, I didn’t get lost, the flights were cheaper that way). 26 hours-ish. Each way. When you’ve got a long journey like that you want to travel with a quality airline, so that’s why I flew with China Eastern. And if the Chinese are known for one thing it’s quality.

It gave me a chance to catch up on some classic movies that you must see before you die. Movies such as Transformers: Age of Extinction and Furious 7. Wow, Furious 7 is an awful movie. I know why Paul Walker died, he saw the first edit of the movie and committed suicide. That movie grossed $1.5billion. Yeah, billion. Anyway, I couldn’t finish it.

Arriving in New York is pretty surreal. I’ve seen the city hundreds of times on TV and in movies, but to be there was awe-inspiring, especially coming from Seoul. I love Seoul, but it’s a hideous city. The architecture in New York is truly amazing.

I know, I’m comparing the best and worst aspects of the two cities.

Before leaving Seoul I made a list of “things I must see/do in New York”. You know, the cliché, touristy stuff everyone does. The list included:

• Seeing the city from the observation deck of the Empire State Building.
• Visit the Statue of Liberty.
• Overhear a vegan hipster say something like “my band only records on vinyl, it sounds way better” while walking into a Wholefoods.
• Connect with a New Yorker by saying things like “Texas is real America,” and “things will be different when Trump is in power.”
• See a moaning Jew.

Amongst other things.

Top of the Rock

Above all else, the thing that I was most excited to do in New York was attend a comedy show at The Comedy Cellar in Manhattan. When I was a teenager and everyone was talking above their favourite bands and experimenting with drugs I was listening to the back catalogues of stand-up comedians. I would spend hours upon hours listening to content wherever I could find it and I developed a preference for American stand-up. Stand-up is the purest form of comedy. No script editing, no directors changing the concept, no interfering producers. A person can have a thought, go on stage and deliver that thought. It is art. An art form that yields instant results – if it is funny people will laugh.

The hubs for comedy in America are Los Angeles, Chicago, but none more so than New York.

Some of the biggest names in comedy started, passed through, or continue to ply their trade in New York. People such as; Dave Chappelle, Larry David, Bill Burr, Aziz Ansari, Patrice O’Neal, Woody Allen, Jerry Seinfeld, Bill Maher, Chris Rock, and the incredible Louis C.K., to name just a few of my favourites.

So being in New York presented me with an opportunity to experience this first hand. I retraced the steps of Louis C.K. in the opening credits of his show Louie. Surfacing from West 4^th Street Subway Station, walking towards The Comedy Cellar stopping at Ben’s Pizzeria for a slice. The night at The Cellar was amazing and hopefully it won’t be my last experience of the New York comedy scene.

Sure, I posed like a tourist, but I was a tourist.

The weather was remarkable too. It varied from sunshine, howling winds, long downpours, and even snow. Snow in April, who’d have thought it? I can confirm it as I saw it when I stumbled out of the Private Eyes strip club at 5am on a Monday morning. I didn’t know you could rate and review strip clubs, but it has a 2-star rating on Yelp, which is about right.

We were the ultimate group of tourists having gone to Times Square, The Rockefeller Centre, the Empire State Building, Ellis Island, Liberty Island, an NBA game at the Barclays Centre, the 9/11 Memorial, the Natural History Museum, and so many other places that I can’t remember.

Times Square - The novelty wears off pretty quickly when you walk through it everyday.

The Statue of Liberty and Manhattan

By the end of the trip I did feel like a true New Yorker, I was annoyed with all the tourists in Times Square and was even arguing with taxi drivers.

“Where to?”
“Brooklyn Ave Station, please.”
“There is no Brooklyn Ave Station.”
“There is, so just take me there.”
“I don’t know where you want me to take you.”
“Look mate, I’m in a rush and if you’re not going to take me I’ll just take the subway.”

I got on the subway, checked the map and it said Bedford Ave Station. Of all the station names to forget and I forgot Bedford. Yes, I argued with a taxi driver who had probably been driving around the city for 20 years even though I’d only been there for 2 days. I was blending in, that’s what us New Yorkers do.

You can choose your friends...

Luckily Dad had a hair dye accident, which meant he had the dodgier Barnet of the two of us.

5 days just isn’t enough there. I walked a lot, laughed even more, and ate too much. It was great to spend time with my family, and no doubt I will be back again.