Central America Part 2: Nicaragua & Costa Rica

From El Cuco in El Salvador, we headed to our next destination of Leon, Nicaragua. To get there we had to travel back into Honduras and then to Nicaragua, meaning two land border crossings in one day. Sometimes these border crossings can be effortless as the authorities stamp your passport and wave you through without a care, while other times there is a lot of bureaucratic red tape to work around. Choco, the tour guide, told us to settle in for the crossing into Nicaragua as the process can take anything from 1-5 hours depending on the mood of the immigration officers. We needed something to lighten the mood and we were given a gift from the footballing gods. The Northwest Derby between Liverpool and Manchester United was on, and while we couldn’t watch the game, we followed the score online. Liverpool had taken a 1-0 lead into the half-time break and all seemed normal, but when the second half kicked off United started to leak goals. A lot of goals. “Another one!” I would announce to the group as Liverpool began dismantling United. “And another! And another!” Ray the Gooner was in disbelief, while Ian the Scouser was in fits of laughter. He couldn’t believe his eyes, mainly because he was blind, but he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Liverpool 7 Manchester United 0. The immigration officers must have all been Liverpool fans as they waved us through after about an hour and a half.

Nicaragua

The city of Leon was the capital of Nicaragua until 1857 when it was changed to Managua. We explored the city with the most notable sight being the cathedral, or to give it its full name "Royal and Renowned Basilica Cathedral of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary". I’d argue how renowned it is, mind you. It was here where Tommy (the flamboyantly gay guy I mentioned in the previous blog) fell and I loudly laughed at him. The laugh echoed around the cathedral, which made it more awkward when he had actually hurt himself.

We continued to explore the city of Leon with Tommy and Lena (mid-twenties, from Ukraine). We’d spent some time together during the trip, but I had resisted all urges to discuss the war with her. I figured that she was on holiday and the last thing she wanted to talk about was the deaths of her countrymen. That was until we strolled through the main square in Leon and found a Nicaraguan-Russian alliance exhibit. The two countries are quite pally with the Nicaraguan President, Daniel Ortega, backing Russia’s invasion. Russia has close ties with Nicaragua, Cuba, and Venezuela, all the best ones. I asked Lena what she thought of the current conflict, to which she looked at me and just rolled her eyes. I could tell that she meant Russia’s unprovoked and unjustified aggression against Ukraine has caused significant human casualties and forced millions of people to flee their homes. The war has also had a significant and lasting impact on global food markets. A leading exporter of grain, Ukraine has seen a dramatic drop in its exports, resulting in major food security concerns for millions of people around the world. European countries have banned the Russian oil, gas and diesel they relied on, which initially caused a steep spike in prices and have invested millions in moves to more sustainable resources. You can tell a lot from an eye roll.

From Leon, we continued the tour to Grenada. Although a beautiful and quaint town, it wasn’t too dissimilar to the towns we’d already visited. Spanish colonial architecture, a cathedral, an abundance of churches, etc., etc. However, the surrounding natural features were quite spectacular. Our first stop was Apoyo Lagoon Natural Reserve. In the volcanic lagoon, we swam, snorkelled, and kayaked before we got bored of all that activity and sipped on piña coladas beside the water.

We towelled off and headed for the Mombacho Volcano. It’s an active volcano and you can see directly into it where the magma bubbles and boils. It last erupted in 1570, which either calms your fears as that was 453 years ago, or it heightens your fears as it should be due for an eruption soon. It also didn’t help that I recently watched the Netflix documentary The Volcano: Rescue From Whakaari where tourists were caught in a volcano eruption. Some died, but those who suffered the most were those who survived the steam emitted from the volcano as it basically melted their flesh off from their bones. Anyway, I managed to survive on this occasion.

We headed down the volcano and back to the hotel. We were all in good spirits after a great day and the tour guide had prepared some cocktails for a two-hour ride back to Grenada. We hit the rush hour traffic when the minibus started to splutter and jolt. We came to a halt and had broken down. The guide asked for volunteers to push the bus to the side of the road. Considering the fragility of the bones of my aged travellers, I felt that I was more suited to help in this case. I made my way from the back of the bus out, but when I had gotten to the rear of the vehicle there were already enough volunteers for the task, including Linda who was about 72. The geriatrics got the bus rolling without my help, but I was now the spare part. I was neither helping and was left standing in the road. I had to jog alongside the bus while the oldies pushed it into the bus lane, reiterating why they are known as ‘The Greatest Generation’ and I was reinforcing the notion that millennials are useless. We all boarded the bus while the driver and the guide worked out a plan. I hid at the back of the bus sipping on my cocktail hiding the fact that I’d contributed nothing to help the situation so far. This new development almost put a dent into what had been a great day up to that point, but along came Tommy to save the day. He grabbed the bus microphone and announced it was karaoke time! He put on Lady Gaga and sang Alejandro while reminding everyone how shy he was before belting out the next verse. While Tommy kept the morale of the troops up, the driver and guide were trying to organise another bus to come and pick us up, when out of nowhere a man arrived offering help. He was in the barbershop getting a trim when he saw the gringo bus pull over. He left the chair with his head half shaved and gown still attached. After about 45 minutes of Lady Gaga’s greatest hits, the mechanic worked his magic and the bus fired up. We were on our way! Travelling is all about these moments. Sure, we had seen some beautiful sights that day, but when adversity hit we made the most of the bad situation, received the kindness of strangers, and made a positive memory. The cocktails didn’t hurt the situation either.

The next morning, we had another early rise and boarded the bus for the island of Ometepe. The island is formed from two volcanoes that emerged from Lake Nicaragua. Lake Nicaragua is the only body of freshwater that contains oceanic life including sharks, swordfish, and tarpons. We had the option to do a day hike to the peak of Volcano Conception, but having explored volcanoes only 1 day prior, we opted to explore the nature at sea level. We walked around the lagoons and spotted howler monkeys. To be honest, they were hard to miss as the tour guide was howling out to them and they’d howl back, much like the call and response you’d get if you walked down Holloway Road and asked ‘What do you think of Tottenham?!’ We spotted wild horses, an array of birds, and some vicious-looking insects. The guide stopped the group to look at a particular group of ants, which he informed us were edible. He placed his finger on the tree, allowed a few to climb on, and then started munching on them. He told us to make sure to bite them otherwise they’d be crawling around your insides. I was hesitant at first as I thought it was a practical joke by the guide that he could get a bunch of gringos to do whatever he wanted by giving us some touristy spiel. His spiel convinced me and I ate the ants and you know what, they weren’t bad! They tasted like carrots!

Costa Rica

Costa Rica is the most visited country in Central America. Tourists flock here for the beautiful beaches, diverse wildlife, and thrilling activities. As a result, Costa Rica’s economy thrives in comparison to its neighbours and this creates some hostility. This video perfectly sums up the tourism tensions between Costa Rica and the other countries in the region.

From Ometepe Island in Nicaragua, we made the long journey to Monteverde. We were booked in for a jungle night tour. With a guide, you’re taken through the dense vegetation during the night when most animals are most active. It sounds amazing, but the night is when I can see the least and jaguars are out looking for prey. This is when it’s a great time to be on tour with the pensioners as I can outrun them easily. Just consider them dry-aged mature meat. We put on our headlamps and started trekking into the wilderness. We hadn’t even left the car park when an armadillo walked past us, which was a fun and safe start to animal spotting. If a jaguar got too close, I’d have to hotfoot it out of there as quickly as possible, but an armadillo is of no threat to me. When threatened, they curl up into a ball and I’d embody Roberto Carlos and boot that thing as far as possible. The guide found a range of woodland creatures that were interesting to look at from a distance. Insects, mammals, birds, and even a tarantula that he prodded with a stick. It made my skin crawl as I shivered, shook, and ran or to describe my actions more accurately, acted like a little bitch. But to top it off, he made us turn off all of our headlamps, and he took out his UV light. With this, he managed to find a scorpion. He calmly picked it up, huddled us into a circle, placed it at our feet, and showed us how it glows under UV light. However, he turned off his UV light and we were left in utter darkness now with the knowledge that there was a scorpion inches from us. I tried my best to not act like a little bitch again, but it was pretty much impossible. We finished the tour and no OAPs were eaten by jaguars, so I’d call that a success.

The next morning, I signed up for the ultimate zip-lining adventure! It boasts the longest zipline in all of Latin America at 1,590m! To be honest, I’m not great with heights, but I put that aside in the knowledge that there have been no (reported) accidents here and that it’s all tested and safe. What I forgot to take into account was how I’ve become scared by almost everything now and how much of a little bitch I act when I’m not in comfortable situations. I got geared up and did the first few lines (not that kind) without any drama. When we reached the big ones, the instructors gave us a choice to do the zipline in the traditional manner or to do it in Superman style. The Billy Big Bollocks that I was I opted for the Superman and got into position where they attach you to the line via your back and ankles. I was hoisted into position for less than 5 seconds before I turned into Billy No Bollocks and bottled it. Between my fearful shrieks during the jungle night tour and quitting the Superman zipline, all credibility with my tour group had all gone. At this point, I was now staring out at the deep valley ahead and didn’t want to do it at all, but I had to save some face in front of the less-than-impressed friends I had acquired. I got harnessed up and set off. I couldn’t face looking around at the forest below, but instead focused my attention on the endpoint edging closer and closer. It was hell. I can safely say that I am done with adrenaline-inducing activities. No more bungee jumping, paragliding, or blind dates.

Not me, but some other idiot

Next, we travelled to La Fortuna. It’s situated a mere 25km away, but with a rainforest and a lake in between, we had to take the long 3-hour route around. La Fortuna is positioned at the base of Arenal Volcano (one letter missing for a legendary name). It’s also home to wild sloths. Tourists rush to the roadside trees to see them, but in conformation to popular belief, they do bugger all. I got some snaps of one scratching its arse, but that was just about all the activity for that particular day.

We spent the final few days enjoying the bars in town. On our penultimate night, we went out for dinner and a chilled evening of pool and beers. However, this escalated quickly with tequila playing a large role in the escalation. From the pool hall, a contingent decided the next move was to a discotheque. We were quite an assortment of people that included my roommate AJ the mid-30 6’4” IT worker, Claire the 40-something accountant, Dave the 78-year-old Kiwi, Lena the 20-something blogger, and Georgie the 20-something data analyst (the last two were probably the only two who had any business being in that club in the first place). We had a boogie on the dancefloor and I noticed a lot of females were looking over to our group as I thought of Del Boy’s words of wisdom “I think we’re on a winner here, play it nice a cool.” They soon started to make their way over to us only to walk straight past me to Dave. They were all dancing with him and taking selfies together while I had figuratively fallen through the bar.

The tour concluded in Costa Rica’s capital of San Jose – a town no one ever needs to visit. As a group, we all said our goodbyes. Some returned home, while others continued on their journeys to different parts of the globe. This was my first experience of a group tour (excluding my 3-day trip to North Korea, which was a very different experience) and while I was hesitant in the beginning, I came to enjoy meeting new people and sharing experiences together. I was also very happy to have joined the geriatric tour whereby I’m the youngest in the group and comfort is a high priority.

Next stop, Peru!