Due to the “floods” in Vietnam we got talked out of our boat
trip across the border up the Mekong Delta. They told us that the boat trip
into Cambodia takes a day and you don’t want to be stuck on a boat for that
length of time in the rain. In typical fashion our time in Ho Chi Minh was
gloriously sunny. We decided to take the 6-hour (which actually turned out to
be 8 hours) bus to Pnomh Penh.
The Vietnam/Cambodia border is pretty relaxed. You walk
through a huge warehouse to the only immigration counter at the other end. No
checks, no questions, no inspections. They stamp your passport and send you on
your way. We stopped at a restaurant on the other side. They served me up some
rice and I opted for pork, which was mostly bone. My lunch on that particular day
was rice and bones. I was very conscious that I hadn’t washed my hands since
leaving the hostel 4 hours earlier. But the more I thought about it I was less
convinced that the “chef” had taken a shower that week. It’s best not to think
about those things. We arrived in Phnom Penh.
Our first day there we took in the killing fields and the
S21 prison. Cambodia has a dark past of communism, mass murders, and torture. I
won’t go on about it, if you want to know it’s all on the internet. It was a
tough day and we needed a few beers.
We spent out two evenings in Pnomh Penh in
a club. We hardly took in the city, and with the exception of our excursion, we
went from our hostel to the club and from the hostel to the club.
When the hostel emptied to go to the club I wasn’t ready and
had to pop back to the room. I changed but had to make my own way to Club Love.
I didn’t know the way and was walking around the darkened streets tipsy, alone
and unsure of my direction. I was asking people where Club Love was, which sounds
dodgy enough. People were kind and gave me directions, but advised me to be
careful.
I found the club and after a few more beers I thought my luck was in. I managed to pull one
of the locals. I stumbled out with her into a tuk tuk. When we stopped I
realised that I wasn’t at my hostel. I was in a random, dodgy part of town. I
then realised I’d in fact “pulled” a prostitute. I was dragged into the brothel
and luckily enough for me I was out of money – those bastards behind the bar in
the club must have mugged me. After long negotiations I told them to take me
back to my hostel where I could get some more money. They agreed. I got back to
the street I knew, headed inside and never emerged, leaving the prostitute with
the driver. I don’t know how long they waited, but I got a free lift home.
Hollaaa.
Unsurprisingly the next morning we missed our bus to Siem
Reap. The only option to use was to get a taxi for the 155-mile journey at a
cost of $80. Half way through the journey I finally had a sober moment of
realisation – I’d forgotten my passport. Fuck! Wes was on hand to mock my
misery. I was having images of begging and borrowing my way to Syria, getting a
boat over to Greece, working my way to Calais and living in the “jungle”.
Luckily for me there were three girls on the same route as
us only a few days behind us. We messaged them and asked them to pick it up for
me. They did. I didn’t tell them that they’d have to pay my hostel bill too as
I’d checked out without paying that either.
We finally had a relaxing night in Siem Reap, this was
mainly because we were doing the sunrise tour of Angkor Wat. It was quite
beautiful. I can’t remember the last time I’d seen stars and the sunrise.
 |
| There's the money shot |
As
beautiful as it was, we had the most
boring tour guide. He was droning on about the different kinds of palm trees.
To be honest, mate, it’s 6am I couldn’t give a shiny shite.
We wandered around Angkor Wat. It was cool, but essentially
another temple. Jesus, temples aren’t that interesting.
 |
| No passion for temples |
What I didn’t realise about the tour was that we had booked
the temple tour and that we had another two to look around. Do you care about
them that much? I was there and couldn’t care less. One was Angkor Thom and the
other one was where the movie Tomb Raider was filmed.
 |
| No passion for temples |
It got to the point where the tour guide gave us a history
of Buddhism and Hinduism in a temple that stunk of monkey piss. I wasn’t in the
mood.
Our last night in Siem Reap and I’d told Wes that I wasn’t
going on a heavy one because I had to meet the girls to pick up my passport at
6am. Well, that was the idea. We somehow got “talking” to a couple of Honkongese couples. They continued to buy us red wine and cigars. I don’t even smoke, but
who was I to oblige? This was followed by a bucket of gin and tonic, beers,
Jaeger, and tequila. We got home at 4am and I was up again at 5:30 to go and
meet the girls off their bus. Somehow I did it. I had my passport and was good
to travel on to Thailand later that day.
Cambodia was a whirlwind. It was not kind to me. I was
dragged into a brothel, I’m pretty sure I broke my toe, I lost my passport for
a few days, I bashed my shin, I lost Wes’ power bank (sorry, mate), got covered
in cuts and bruises, and was bored to death about temples. Despite all that I
had a great time here.
Anyway, off to Thailand next where I’ve heard it’s lively…
