I’m meant to be heading home west, but I took a stop 720 miles north-east in New Delhi.
For this blog, I’ll start with the highlights. The first
being that after 15 months I was reunited with my old man. It was great to
catch up on lost time, and I was certainly welcome for the company after the
week, or so, on my own in Mumbai.
 |
| 478 days apart |
The second highlight didn’t even come in Delhi, it was
during our voyage to Agra. Agra is the home to one of the wonders of the world –
The Taj Mahal. A trip to India isn’t complete without visiting India’s most
famous landmark. The building is of Islamic design and is a tomb for Moghal Emperor
Shah Jahan’s third wife (that’s a symbolic kick in the ovaries for the other
two). We had a tour guide take us around the complex, he explained a few things
about the structure and the other surrounding buildings (all of which I’ve
forgotten now). He was very annoying, and described himself as “complimentary”
until the end of the tour when conveniently he had a fee. We begrudgingly paid
the £12 until we found out that he had actually helped us skip 3 hours of
queues, his service and the £12 seemed justifiable then.
A few others included going to the Akshardham Temple, a
Hindu temple complex. Vast in size, and intricate in design. Also, Humayun’s
Tomb, a nice area, but in actuality I have no idea who Humayun was, and still don’t
know which one of the thirteen graves was his. After 2 weeks in India my
interest in temples, tombs, and forts was wearing thin, so maybe I’m not doing
them the justice they deserve. And that rounds off the highlights in Delhi.
 |
| Humayun's Tomb |
 |
| The Red Fort |
I’d like to call out both Ed Lloyd and Joel Stone, two “friends”
who offered advice on India, both on what to do and what to expect. Neither of
which actually told me not to go. So, allow me to offer advice on what India is
really like.
It is a shit hole. If you’ve ever heard anyone describe
India as a “beautiful country” they are lying to you, and it’s more than likely
that they’ve lied to you about other things in the past. You should consider
unfriending them on Facebook. There are faeces everywhere, some animal, some
human. Most countries have a designated landfill site - not India. The streets
act as the landfill, a dumping ground for any waste, and when the build-up of
waste is higher than average they just burn it. In the street. Next to
homeless, sleeping children.
The people steal more than Scousers, they lie more than
politicians, and their personal hygiene and habits have left me with more psychological
scars than 2 Girls 1 Cup ever did.
You will get diarrhoea. No matter how careful you are, how
much hand sanitizer you use, or how trustworthy a restaurant looks, you will
get the shits. I lasted about 9 days before I was affected, I think I set a new Guinness World Record.
Delhi is the worst city I have ever been to, India is the
worst country I have ever been to, and the Indian people (the ones that I
encountered anyway) are the worst people in the world. At one stage I was seriously
considering seeking asylum in neighbouring Pakistan, or Afghanistan.
If this blog achieves anything I hope that it discourages
anyone from ever visiting India. Sure, you can go online and read a blog by
some overly optimistic traveller who went to India to “find themselves”, and describe how they had such an amazing spiritual journey, but these are the opinions of hippies. As
Eric Cartman once put it: “Hippies. They’re everywhere. They want to save the
earth, but all they do is smoke weed and smell bad”. You can’t argue with that.
This is a blog that speaks the truth.
If you have read this far and you’re still considering going
then maybe all is lost for you. Maybe your motivation is a religious retreat? I recommend reading Richard Dawkin’s The God
Delusion. That book should put pay to any religious yearning you many have. Maybe your motivation is a spiritual experience? Go down the pub and
have relaxing a beer.
I have written this for your benefit. Do not let the (good) pictures fool you, I'm an amazing photographer. It is a country that I
wish never to return.
