Macedonia: Official Name Currently Unclear

When discussing holiday plans with my colleagues I recieved a few bewildered faces. Most were speaking of blissful travel plans to Thailand or Vietnam, conjuring up images of lying on a beach sipping cocktails. When I explained that I was travelling to Macedonia most asked "why?" Well, I was off to visit Drew, one of my close friends from the promise land of Korea. We were legends of the famous Seoul Wanderers side that triumphed in the Seoul Sunday League second division in the Spring of 2016. 

Since those golden days Drew signed up for the Peace Corps volunteer program and was placed to teach in the most southern country of the former Yugoslavia. I can't say I ever had any ambitions of travelling there, but now I had a reason to.

I didn't really know what to expect as my only knowledge of the country was Goran Pandev and his unfortunate hairline. I knew more about what not to talk about than what to talk about. Don't mention the name dispute, the Greeks, the Albanians, Alexander the Great, among other things.

Drew met me at the airport and we spent the first few days in his village of Jablanica, which boasts a population of 200 people. I was introduced to his host family and Drew explained that I'd flown in from China to which the uncle pulled his eyes back mimicing 'slanted eyes'. The grandfather was nicknamed 'Mr. Sunshine' as he has a sunnier personality after a few home-brewed rakijas. The family were very welcoming, minus the racism.

Drew filled me in on life in the village. It snows a lot there, which often results in power cuts. Electricity is expensive, especially for famers who have an average monthly household income of about 250 euros. This means that they don't have hot water as it costs too much to heat. Electricity is half price on Sundays so that's when most do laundry and take showers. Yep, showers once a week. The family are self-sufficient, growing their own food and chopping their own wood to heat their homes. Drew's most prized posession is his wood burner, which puts my life into perspective. My prized posession is my phone which I use mainly to chat up girls on Tinder. 

When we were running low on wood we would collect some more from the wood storage room which also houses the family's chickens. You step through the shed and Drew casually says "just step around the pool of blood and get some logs for the fire." Excuse me, a pool of blood? That was where the family slaughtered a pig last week. When we returned, Drew stated "looks like we're having chicken tonight." I asked him how he knew and he pointed to a bloody tree stump and a axe where the grandfather had been standing. Pools of blood seem to be normal in Drew's life. I'm such a delicate city flower that I can't deal with this life. I need to have food delivered, 24-hour bars, and less inbreeding in my life. Even when I last visited my mum back in Bedfordshire she wanted to go for a walk through the field out the back of her house. We got about 5 minutes in when we came to the tall grass, I told my mum I was heading back because I didn't want to get my new Nike Air Max 90s dirty.  

The bloody stump with an axe in the background. The cats and dogs made the most of the remains.

Even using the toilet in Macedonia is hard work. I like to take my time when it comes to going to the bathroom. You shouldn't force nature, just sit back, relax, and let it happen. But that's not possible in Macedonia. It's -5 celcius, so you've got to put on your wooly hat and scarf just to take a shit. I sat on the coldest surface I've ever sat on and I could see my breath as I tried my best to speed things along. 

Drew is hardcore. He lives in the middle of nowhere in Macedonia voluntarily. It couldn't be further removed from my life in the capital of the most populated country in the world. He speaks Macedonian for goodness sake. He walks around the village talking to all the old ladies wearing babuskas, whereas I usually make a point of not talking to any women over the age of 30.

The mist and fog never cleared. There's meant to be a great mountainous view from the village, but I never saw it.

Mr. Sunshine's car. You won't be surprised that it's not road legal.

Life in the village was fascinating and eye-opening, but after 2 days there I was more than ready to leave. Next, we visited the tourist town of Ohrid.

Ohrid is a small lake-side town which is very popular in the summer, but during the winter it was much quieter. It was pleasant to walk around and the temperature was much warmer. I was taken to all the hot-spots, taking in the beautiful view, walking through the narrow alleys and looking at the old churches. Drew told me that beside the lake there are usually Russian women sunbathing topless. As nice as my visit was to Ohrid, given the choice of seeing boring old churches or bare-breasted Russians the answer is obvious.

We met up with Drew's friend, Wade. He's a 61-year-old fellow Peace Corp volunteer and an absolute treat. He's lived the bachelor lifestyle to the maximum. He told us stories from his youth over a fair few rakijas. I'd only known him a short time, but was eager to tell me about Wanda Clack, his first sexual conquest at college in the 1970s. That dirty old dog. 

We called our time short on Ohrid due to the lack of action. We then headed for the capital city, Skopje.

A little known fact is that Skopje is Europe's most polluted city. I was relieved as all the mountain fresh air was giving me the shakes. I breathed in that wonderful carbon monoxide and was ready to take on the city. One of the main sights in Skopje is to see the excessive number of statues in the city. The Macedonian government decided not to invest funds into their education system or to improve their medical system, but to spend a shed load of cash on statues. I was told that, allegedly, the politicians set up companies that manufactured the statues. That sounds completely legit and moral. 

The Alexander the Great Statue...it's pretty controversial

We met up with Drew's girlfriend, Emma, and her friends. We sampled a few of the nightlife spots around town. The girls were dancing away to Macedonia's answer to The Beatles, I can't say it got me moving. I'm not much of a dancer, but when the moment takes me I get it done. I'll just say that when the Macedonian music was on there was one more statue in Skopje.

Overall, my trip to Macedonia was great. The people were very welcoming, kind-hearted, and funny. Emma's mum overfed me and Drew's host family opened my eyes to a different way of life. Everyone told me that I should go back in the summertime, but maybe one week was just about enough for me.

Pingyao, China: Tomb Sweeping Day

The Tomb Sweeping Day holiday presented me with a 3-day break and as I didn't have any tombs to sweep I thought I'd get out of Beijing and head to the ancient city of Pingyao with Eunju.

A few days prior to our departure, I was experiencing the symptoms of a cold without being bedridden. I couldn't really work it out until the day before the trip when I woke up at 4am with tremendous pain in my ear. Eunju wasn't staying over that night so I surmised I had an ear infection. 

The train journey to Pingyao didn't make things any better. The train headed west through the mountains. A combination of the air pressure and going through numerous tunnels affected my hearing to the point that I couldn't hear in my left ear. I had the window seat so I could still hear Eunju nattering away to my right. I should have asked her to swap seats as it would have made it much easier to get some sleep while she talked into my deaf ear.

I arrived in Pingyao half deaf with a less than functional nose. I felt like Ozzy Osbourne, the major difference being that he lost his senses from performing ear-splitting heavy metal and snorting God knows what, whereas I probably picked mine up from not washing my hands well enough. Although, Ozzy has to live with Sharon, so if I were him I'd rather be deaf. And blind. 

The first stop was to a pharmacy. I know what you're thinking, "Brendan is an international playboy, he is obviously picking up some prophylactics for his saucy break with his lady friend." That wasn't quite the case. I had to ask Eunju to translate "do you have anything for an ear infection? I think it's started pussing" to the pharmacist. I'm sure I've never appeared so sexy. 

We checked into our hotel that Eunju had booked. It was a traditional Chinese home. It looked really nice, but it came with compromises, the main one being the bed - it was made of bricks. I don't just mean the base, I mean all of it. And the mattress isn't of much use, I've seen pizza bases thicker. We requested extra duvets to give us some comfort, but this didn't help. 

Pingyao is famous for being one of the first banking cities in northern China, for its baijiu (local alcohol), and vinegar. I'd never travelled for vinegar before. 

Vinegar is usually one of those things that are left in the cupboard when there is nothing left, just before your mum does the big shop. We decided to give it a go with some pan-fried dumplings and I can confirm that it does, in fact, taste like vinegar. But it didn't end there, there are shops dedicated to the primary sale of vinegar. They gave us a tour and then gave us some samples to taste. We had a couple of shots of vinegar and left with breath strong enough to ward off the plague. 

We next day we explored Mian Mountain. Located about an hour from the city, it gave us an escape from all that culture. We arrived at the mountain to find a TV set. The cameras were filming two presenters while in the background some performers performed. I know I'm a pretty big deal, but this was a little much for my arrival. In actuality, they were filming some celebrations for the following day's festivities. Right on cue, a helicopter arrived and swarms of people ran over with their camera phones hoping to get a glimpse of a celebrity. I looked over the crowd and tried to work out who it was, then I realised that the chances of Tom Hanks or Angelina Jolie showing up at the base of a mountain in rural China were pretty slim and that it was more likely that it would be a Chinese equivalent of one of those actors with learning difficulties from The Only Way is Essex. 

We ascended the mountain only to realise how cold it was. Days before in Beijing temperatures had reached 30°C in March, so in my duffle bag were shorts, t-shirts and sun cream. Yet, on the mountain is was 4°C and I was rueing my poor packing. To passersby on the mountain they must have thought I had been pumping iron at the gym, when in fact, I was wearing all the clothes I had packed. I was layered up with 4 t-shirts and 2 thin hoodies. It was just about enough as the temperature dropped to 0°C as we climbed higher. 

The views were incredibly remarkable yet bizarre. Mian Mountain had emerged disturbing little of the area surrounding it. Beyond the mountain, there was flat farmland as far as the eye could see without even a hill or a mound of dirt.

Temples are dotted around the mountainside and because of the mist and cold temperatures, Eunju and I were enjoying the freedom of the mountain. One of which is built into a mountain cave. 

After a few hours exploring, we descended and went back to Pingyao in search of a warm dwelling. 

In the evening as we went back to our comfortable brick bed it started snowing. It finished off the trip and we headed back to Beijing the following morning which had experienced a blizzard in our absence. Perfect timing. 

Despite the ear infection, freezing mountain temperature, snow, and leaving with a broken back after 2 nights on bricks, it had been a good trip.