Qinhuangdao, Hebei: The Old Dragon's Head

I’m getting through my bucket list of China in recent weeks! This time, Hannah and I were off to Qinhuangdao, which is about 300km from Beijing, or about 2 hours on the train. We left late on Friday after work and as soon as I got to the train station, I realised that I’d left my passport at home. It clearly isn’t ingrained in my mind that I need my passport when I travel in China as the government likes to keep track of your whereabouts at all times. That’s a totalitarian government for you! Anyway, I just had about enough time to Usain Bolt it to my apartment and make it back before the train departed. 

Qinhuangdao is relatively unknown but is situated in Hebei province and is pretty much only known for being the eastern starting location of The Great Wall of China. When Hannah asked what I wanted to do here but was surprised when I said that I wanted to go to the “Old Dragon’s Head” (the nickname for the end of the wall). “Why didn’t you tell me in advance?” she exclaimed. I thought she was taking the piss considering there’s pretty much fuck all else on the area’s Trip Advisor. 

We had to take a 20-minute train from Qinhuangdao to Shanhaiguan. We walked around the old town and looked at the exhibitions, which were far from exciting. One was a traditional Hebei home. It was bleak, dusty, and full of old shit. There are enough houses like that in Beijing that people still live in today, I don’t need to see it. 

We walked down to Lao Long Tou/Old Dragon’s Head and were blessed with blue skies. Karl Pilkington visited this part of the Wall when he filmed An Idiot Abroad. He wasn’t impressed, however it took him days, maybe even hours, to realise how dreadful China is. Why has it taken me so long? To be fair, this was one of the nicer weekends. We meandered down the beach and enjoyed the peace and quiet. Beijing is a beast of a city that one must escape from as often as they can and hopefully on a permanent basis. 

The First Pass Under Heaven is the gate which allowed access to the walled city.

It was time for lunch and Hannah was delighted to be at a coastal town with all the crustaceous delights on offer. The Chinese will eat anything that moves, and I’ve seen the weird shit they eat that inhabits the land so I can only imagine what freakishly bizarre foods they’d gobble down that they pull out of the sea. Hannah was delighted that she didn’t have to share while I ate some plan rice. 

We slept in late on Sunday and just enjoyed a day at the beach. There really isn’t much to this town, but it does have a pleasant beach. Although, I imagine it’s rammed in the summer and loses a lot of its charm. 

What is weird about this place is that there is a Russian town. The Russians flock here in the summer and the town is adorned with Russian architecture, restaurants, and even has a knock-off version of Saint Basil’s Cathedral (it is China after all!) I now had a choice between the weird Chinese seafood and borscht, I think I went hungry that afternoon. 

Despite it being a very quiet weekend with little to see and do, I had a thoroughly good time. The fact that we could relax and just walk along the beach on a peaceful, pollution-free day was enough. It made me forget about Beijing, work, university deadlines and gave me time to unwind. 

Gubei Watertown

I get behind with this blog very easily, but not too long ago China was lucky enough to have a 3-day weekend. Eunju and I decided to spend the time together and we had it all planned out; down the pub on Sunday night to watch the North London Derby and then a 2-day romantic trip to Gubei Watertown. 

It took little convincing to get Eunju in an Arsenal shirt. She obviously hasn’t been keeping up to date with our recent results, the fan protests about the total lack of confidence in the boardroom and management, or she hadn’t even seen the recent images of that orange racist’s son wearing the full Arsenal kit. Luckily, I had so I was smart enough to bring a jacket with me to the pub. If we lost I was wearing it and she’d have to ride the waves of abuse from that other mob in North London. It’s the choice she made when she put the shirt on. We don’t need to dwell on the result.

The next day we went to Gubei. I've been looking at taking a few trips out of Beijing, but every time I find a place I'd like to go I find out that it's a 4-hour flight from the capital. I'm still not used to living in such a big country. 

We boarded the bus to Gubei only to find out it was a city bus. An old city bus. You don't appreciate the comforts of a coach until you sit on a city bus for 2-and-a-half-hours. Eunju told me that the bus smelt pretty bad too, it was one of the few times in my life that I benefitted from having hayfever. 

We drove through mile after mile of Chinese countryside. As nice as the farms and mountains were it really seemed like the ideal opportunity to get 40 winks and recover a little more from the night before. As I was just drifting off the bus driver tooted his horn. In China you drive with your ears as much as with your eyes. I mean, why use your side mirrors when you can hear the beautiful sound of a car horn? Except this was a bus horn and I'm pretty certain it was mounted inside the bus. Two hours to Gubei with the serenading sounds of a smelly, old Beijing city bus. Living the dream.

Gubei was extremely charming. It’s got the design and feel of a traditional Chinese village, while having the luxuries of new modern hotels and spas. Albeit a bit touristy, it was a welcomed break from the Beijing smog.

I did experience a notable Chinese spectacle while in Gubei. Whenever I speak to friends or family who haven’t been to China they’re all very quick in asking whether I’ve seen someone defecate in the street and I always dismiss their questions with amusement. I stress that I live In Beijing, a huge metropolitan area, not some backwards rural shanty town. Well, I wasn’t in Beijing any more. Eunju and I were strolling down by the water front, clear bue skies above us, and The Great Wall in the distance, and in the corner of my eye I see a figure squatting. My attention is drawn and I’m now observing a child shitting on a lawn. My brain is telling me stop looking at a half-naked child, but it has also disabled my neck muscles preventing me from turning away. The family are relaxing near-by without a care in the world as their child shits next to a Don’t Walk On The Grass sign. I wonder in Chinese small print whether it said Pooping Permitted.

We made our way up to the Great Wall and watched the sunset. It wasn’t as nice as I had expected as it had become cloudy and pretty chilly. Who’d have thought it gets cold on a mountain 986m above sea level when the sun goes down? 

We retired to the hotel. The following morning we went down for the complimentary breakfast. You haven’t seen mayhem until you tell Chinese people that there is an all-you-can-eat free breakfast. I’ve never seen plates piled so high and I’ve been to Toby Carvery. I was quite content with a croissant, some fruit and a coffee, yet they were piling up noodles, rice, dumplings, toast, watermelon, baked beans, it doesn’t matter whether it goes together get it on your plate. Remind me never to go to an all-you-can-eat Chinese restaurant here (or an all-you-can-eat restaurant as they probably call it here).

It was a great escape from Beijing and no sooner had I been back that a sandstorm had blown in from the northern deserts. It lasted about 2 days and I’m sure cycling to work in that probably took 6 months off my life expectancy.

Anyway, until next time.

Chinese New Year: The Great Wall, Clubs, and a Dead City

The Chinese New Year celebrations are coming to an end and the millions of people are flocking back to the city. I was expecting to achieve quite a lot over the week of celebrations, but that wasn’t as easy as I had planned. The city closes down for a week. It’s bizarre to see such a deserted city which is usually thriving. 75% of businesses close and the city is lit up with fireworks and firecrackers, just the noises you want to hear when you’re trying to sleep in.

So, I did what most people do when there is nothing to do – drink. Luckily, some of the few establishments open were a select few bars, and I could sniff them out a mile away.

I’ve had my first experience of a Chinese night club and they are quite the spectacle. When you picture a club in western country you imagine a bar and a dance floor, in China they sell booths and each booth is sold an expensive bottle (or bottles) of top quality alcohol and a fruit platter. Of course, a fruit platter. Most are dressed in their finest attire, while I was in a farmer shirt looking like I’d come straight from the rice paddies.

Chinese culture is built on saving face. (I’m going to define that now and any Chinese people reading this will probably scoff at my inability to grasp the “saving face” concept.) Saving face is about one’s public appearance and opinion. A Chinese person would buy a gift for someone they cannot afford to give the appearance of wealth, or order more food at an already full table while exclaiming there isn’t enough, or they'd rather borrow money from multiple parties at increasingly unsustainable interest rates than have others know that their company is broke.

This bodes well for night clubs as everyone is throwing money around. Although, not me. Again another Chinese culture I cannot get on board with. While most people were ordering bottle after bottle of high end vodka I blagged my way onto the guest list to get free entry and was waving my free drink coupons at the bar. "Another free rum and coke, please."

The competition was fierce, there were hundreds of rich Chinese guys that I couldn't compete financially with, but on the dance floor they’re as stiff as a scarecrow. This is where I come into my element. While I can shake it with best of them the difference between us is that at the end of the night the scarecrows take their ladies home in a Mercedes and I have to tell my lucky lady that we’ve got to wait until 5:30am for the subway to open.

I did manage to tick something significant off the bucket list during the week and that was visiting The Great Wall of China. It was definitely a wise idea to spend 3 hours in the Chinese mountains in a -12°C chill.

It is a very impressive wall. Originally built between 220-206BC, stretching 8,850km to keep out the Mexicans. And Qin Shi Huang even got the Mexicans to pay for it.

I went with Matt and Drew and we booked our excursion as part of a group tour. On my travels I’ve seen many Chinese tourists groups and hated every one. Always a large group of pushy tourists with a tour guide speaking incoherently into a very cheap and very loud PA system. Now I was in one of these groups. It didn’t take us long to break away from the guided tour and explore on our own.

Obviously it was to keep out the Mongolians (I was just joshing with you before) and looking at the surrounding mountains the wall seemed unnecessary. It looked pretty difficult to scale these enormous mountains, you’d think a wall would be a piece of cake. Their ability to scale mountains was trumped by their inability to build a ladder.

I do have a few criticisms of the wall and the first is the inconsistent step sizes. This tied with having a few beers on the wall made walking along it a lot more difficult than I had anticipated. Criticism number two, it’s too long. I was on it for 3 hours and hardly saw any of it. An escalator or a Stannah Stairlift would improve the experience significantly.

On the way back down the mountain we had the privilege of sharing the very same cable car that Bill Clinton had used when he visited the wall. Who knows what went on in that car, but knowing what old Bill is like I didn’t want to touch anything.

The Great Wall is impressive and it shows the achievement of the human race. It’s amazing what man can achieve when there is no concern for human lives. You’ve only got to see what they’re doing in Qatar to see a modern example. And you know, all those people who have lost their lives building those stadiums would say the sacrifice of life is worth having air-conditioned sporting arenas.

Going to try my hand at skiing in a couple of days. I could play it safe with snowboarding, but the idea of trying to ski, breaking a bone, and spending a significant amount of time in a Chinese hospital is just too appealing.