Without even realising it I’ve fallen into a new social
bracket that is even more alternative than being a “hipster”. I have become a
“football hipster”. That’s not to say I am a hipster who has an interest in
football. You know the type, the self-confessed alternative thinkers who happen
to read the same sources and then miraculously have the same ideas, who dress
unconventionally yet identical to the other free-thinkers, but who happen to watch the
occasional Manchester United match. I mean I am a football hipster. It was far
too mainstream to stay in the UK and support my beloved Arsenal, I had to
travel to Korea and spend my weekends following FC Seoul home and away, take in
the Korean second division (the K-League Challenge) when there are no top flight
games available, and listen to the latest episodes of 48 Shades of Grey, an
English podcast on all things K-League. What have I become?
Karl and I chose FC Seoul’s fixture against Jeonbuk Motors
as our first away game, and booked our places on the supporters’ bus.
At 9am we boarded the bus and it was time to pass around the
beers and cocaine. Unfortunately the party-pooper bus driver had banned both
substances so we had to resort to sneaking soju on and drink that discreetly.
The 400ish supporters arrived in force at one of the 2002
World Cup Stadiums, now occupied by Jeonbuk Motors. The game was disappointing
from a Seoul perspective as Jeonbuk won 3-0. Losing an away game quite
emphatically deflates the entire positive atmosphere of the day. It’s the same
as having something that you really enjoy, a lovely bonfire for example, and
then someone comes along and urinates on it, but you’ve had to travel
three-and-a-half hours to witness it. That’s what the game was like.
The only remedy to our sorrows was more beer as we prepared
for the night out in Jeonju. The night was a bit of a blur. It involved bar
hopping, assisting a man with his bungeobbangs (a fish shaped Korean street
food dessert), and ending up in a club where I achieved the amazing feat of
falling asleep standing up (I had been drinking for 16 hours or so).
 |
| The guy left his stall to get change, and we filled in for him. |
The next day came round (no hangover), and we explored the
Jeonju’s famous traditional-style Hanok village. Eating the local food, and
reading about the history was mildly interesting.
I have to admit that something terrible happened that
weekend. Blog followers, after reading this you
may lose all respect for me. You should be preparing to delete me as a friend
on Facebook, to burn any evidence of our friendship, and if you see me I would
understand if you violently attacked me in the street because…I’ve…put on
traditional Korean clothing and posed for pictures. I’m sorry.
I’ve been in Korean for over a year and every time I’ve seen
a foreigner wearing the clothing I cringe. The outfit is called a Hanbok, it is
usually worn for special occasions and earliest murals of them date back to the
3rd Century BCE. They are guaranteed to make all foreigners look
like utter twats. I am now a member of that undesirable club.
Karl talked me into it. “C’mon, it’ll be a laugh!” Yeah, and
it was, for everyone else in Jeonju! I hadn’t even got it on yet without
feeling like a knob.
The only benefit of wearing one was that we got a lot of
attention from some average looking females who wanted photographs with us.
After sheepishly meandering around we went back to the
rental shop, and handed them back (sweaty, thus confirming the stereotype that
all Caucasians sweat (sorry white people, I had a lapse of concentration and
now more people know of our shameful, clammy secret)).
Mistakes were made on this trip. Another checkbox ticked,
and another which I wish remained unticked, but shall forever dishonourably
hang over my head.
