Life In England, Coming Back to Korea, and the Worst Night Out of My Life

OK, so there’s been a change of plan…

I’m now back in Korea. I genuinely didn’t want this to happen, I had decided that I needed to go somewhere new, but there was always a difficult barrier to overcome. Either it was a contract condition that I wasn’t happy with, or I had to be in the country for a face-to-face interview, or the salary to cost of living ratio was too far out of balance. The easy option was to go back to Korea.

I had originally decided to stay in the UK for 6 months, but life in Bedford isn’t all that interesting, the novelty of home had worn off, and although my parents were happy to have me back, my feet were itchier that a bad case of crabs. So, I’m back in hot, humid Seoul. Back at my old school, living in my old apartment – it was like I was never away.

Don’t get me wrong, the time I spent home in England was great. I got to spend time with all of my family, and either they’re all excellent liars or they genuinely missed me while I was away. I got to reconcile with family members that I haven’t seen in 15 years? And of course I got to catch up with a great bunch of friends. It would appear that no matter how long I might have been away there would have been a great reception upon my return. I couldn’t have asked for more.

Despite all the great things of home; the people, the food, (some of) the nights out, and a reasonably priced Guinness, there were aspects of being home that bothered me.

Something that I never realised before was how racist people are towards Asian people. Some people knew that I’d been away, and others I had mentioned it to them, but as soon as I did it opened a flood gate of seemingly accepted racism. The worst I heard were “How is your Thai bride?”, “Good morning, Vietnam!” and “ching chong ching”. The ignorance is strong with these people. "Thai bride", "Vietnam", these aren’t even relatable to Korea. They’re completely different countries. And “ching chong ching”? Even Jim Davidson and Mel Gibson would conclude that this Chinese gibberish is too racist for their tastes.

For some reason people still think it’s acceptable to say racist things about Asian people. I don’t think these same people would say bigoted things about other races or nationalities. It was another contributing factor that made me want to leave earlier than planned.

And here’s another thing, I was in South Korea, not North Korea. No, I didn’t meet Kim Jong-Un. No, it’s not “basically China”. No, there isn’t continuous warfare between the North and South. And the 2018 Winter Olympics will be held in Pyeongchang not Pyeongyang – they’re different places. I probably shouldn’t be annoyed with these misconceptions, after all there is very little Korean exposure in the UK. With the exception of Psy’s famous hit, Park Ji-sung, and, apparently, AFC Wimbledon’s love of Shin Ramen, people know next to nothing of Korea.

Did I have doubts about going back? Sure. Will it be the same? Will the second year have too much to live up to? I don’t know, but I’ve dallied on too many big decisions recently. I managed to convince myself that it wasn’t the right time to go and live in Japan, Hong Kong, China, or Vietnam (which is very hard to do!) and I couldn’t do the same with Korea, I didn’t want to wait any longer.

The reasons to go outweigh the few to stay. I was doing a meaningless job where the topic of conversation of each day was tits and fanny. Don’t get me wrong I love tits and fanny as much as the next man (unless the next man is Ched Evans) but I don’t want to talk about it every bloody day. There was the boredom of home creeping in, lacking a sense of adventure, learning nothing new. These are valid, obvious reasons to continue exploring a country I am so fond of living in.

When considering my last two weekends in England they are at the two ends of the spectrum of enjoyment and one was a definite factor in leaving England so rapidly. My penultimate weekend was an unplanned night out, usually these are the best ones, but this was not one of them. It all started well, a few lads and I played a couple of rounds of 9-hole foot-golf (football and golf for those without an imagination). 

Peggy doing what he does best

It was suggested that we go for a few beers after in the neighbouring town of Newport Pagnell, hardly glamorous, but I’ll rarely turn down a few beers with the boys. At this point I did express my concern as I was wearing a Galatasaray football shirt, but was told that it shouldn’t be a problem. A few pubs into a pub crawl and I was approached by UKIP’s poster boy, some product of the Hitler Youth’s sister programme – the Farage Adolescence. He felt that he needed to take time out of his night to inform me that, as I was wearing a Turkish football shirt that had the Islamic star and crescent emblazed on it, that by wearing the shirt I was “supporting and funding ISIS”. Really? The Galatasaray board of directors had a meeting and established their season objectives: to acquire the best available playing staff, to remain profitable and sustainable financially, and to send a couple of youth players on loan to al-Qaeda FC. (And if that mong is reading this (which he definitely is not, he’s probably got his head buried into the latest edition of The Daily Sport) the star and crescent was originally a symbol of the Ottoman Empire. The symbol became associated with Islamism in the mid-20^th century, so the crest on the shirt is more an association with Turkish history rather than any religious connection.) We bid the awful man adieu and made our way to Milton Keynes - this was a terrible idea. I was rejected from every establishment for my choice of shirt and was even spat on. I went home soon after. (Can you tell I’m still angry about that night?)

The following weekend was by contrast sensational. A day and night out in London. Beers on the train down, beers by the river, watched the Football Manager “derby” between AFC Wimbledon and Watford, beers at the game, cycled to Camden on the Borris bikes (this was funny at the time, but a rather dangerous idea), beers in Camden, met some Koreans and showed off my terrible Korean language skills, more beers, and then got the train back to Bedford. No drama, just a great day without religious hate, or airborne saliva. Why can’t every weekend be like that?

Anyway, I’ve been in Korea for a few days, it was all rushed in the end and I didn’t get to see people properly before leaving, which was a disappointment.

Sorry if this one seemed like a rant, it’s just I haven’t written for a while.

Thanks for reading.

شكرا لقرائتك

Okuduğunuz için teşekkür ederim

Walking and Gawking

Before coming to Korea I had one event in mind that I wanted to attend, that was the Korean Grand Prix. I’m not a huge Formula 1 fan but I have been to motorsport events in the past and I’ve had a blooming good time. I kept on thinking ‘how many opportunities will I get to attend the Korean Grand Prix?’ I know that particular race is towards of the end of the racing calendar but I was curious as to the exact date so I looked it up. A quick Google search returned nothing; it turns out that the FiA have withdrawn the Korean Grand Prix from the 2014 schedule. Bollocks! Are you serious?! The one year that I’m in Korea and the one thing I wanted to do has been cancelled.

So I’ve had to find other touristy things to do during my stay. The first excursion I took was to Namsan Tower. It’s a viewing tower, nothing major, but it’s iconic and visible across the city as you look at the Seoul skyline. I went with Josh and we met at Myeongdong station and decided to walk up the hillside to Namsan Tower, opting not to take the cable car. Worst decision ever. It didn’t look too high from the bottom but I’m pretty sure it’s the second highest mountain in the world, just smaller than Everest. Sensible people powered past us in their suitable hiking shoes while we struggled up the incline wearing Vans and Nike trainers. We stopped half way to catch our breath and then went for the summit.

On the way up we saw this building. This is a public toilet. It’s the greatest public toilet I have ever seen, it’s a far cry from the literal shit holes I have used at Reading Festival.

We made it to Namsan Tower and it was quite interesting. The Tower’s mascot is a brown bear. The odd thing was that the brown bear was being escorted around the base of the tower by a policeman, a genuine policeman. The bear would pose for pictures, scare children, and then the policeman would move him on. Maybe the policeman was there for the bear’s security, I like to think the man inside the bear suit was a habitual line-stepper. Using his adorableness to take advantage of people and the guys in the office had had enough of it and employed a policeman to stop him from doing so. I won’t write what I really think of the bloke inside the suit.

The view from the top was pretty good. We got there just as the sun was setting, we watched the sunset together. It was very romantic. 

Speaking of romance there was a game at the top of the tower, you would buy a plastic coin and you had to throw the coin into a well from a distance. It was supposed to be for couples, and if you get the coin in the well then your love is true. Another con, but never mind. This is a translated quote from their website “If you meet the love of your pond, make love! Love to put a coin in the pond gazebo heart is made to love you”. So Josh and I tried our luck at putting a coin in the pond gazebo heart. We both succeed, so I guess our love is true. We got some weird looks and laughs.

At the base of the tower they had another example of these love padlocks that I’ve talked about in a previous blog. The Koreans have fallen for it too. 

A few weeks later I visited the Bongeunsa Buddhist Temple. I had wanted to see a Buddhist temple when I was in Thailand but I didn’t get the opportunity so I was glad to visit one in Korea. I tried my hardest not to appear as a tourist, but no matter how much I try I will never quite fit in in Korea mainly because I’m not Asian. I think only Michael McIntyre and Jack Cassidy are the only white people that can pass for being Asian by sight alone.

I wandered around the temple grounds and entered a prayer room. I grabbed a cushion and sat quietly. People came in and prayed and I observed. Buddhists seem to have a different praying ritual than I have ever seen before, it starts; stand, crouch, kneel, place your head on the floor, stand, repeat. That’s too much effort for me. It looked more like an exercise video than a prayer. After they pray they then donate money at the front of the alter, because we all know with religion your prayers don’t come true unless you pay for it.

I continued my walk around the grounds and found an enormous Buddha. It was impressive, I know it’s not a competition but Christ the Redeemer is bigger.

A weird fact that I have discovered since being in Korea is that Buddhism shares it’s logo with Nazism. I never knew that. I kept on seeing the logo on the buildings and it just seemed unnatural to me. Although Buddhism probably had the logo first I think more people would recognise it as the symbol evil rather than good. I can’t believe that the top Buddhists around the world haven’t got together to create a new marketing campaign. “We don’t encourage hate, we only meditate”. They can have that one for free.

The temple was originally founded in 794 which blew my mind. I enjoyed walking around, there were some impressive buildings and as you looked into the distance you could see the tall skyscrapers of Seoul, a clash of traditional and modern Korea. There was one enormous building near the car park that no one really focused on, other tourists just passed by like it wasn’t impressive, I went to investigate and it turned out to be the staff room and cafeteria. Just shows how little I know.

I hope I haven’t offended anyone with what I’ve written in this article. I haven’t targeted Buddhism, it’s just what I noticed. I grew up in a Catholic household and there isn’t enough time to write about the imperfections of Catholicism. But anyway, I’m off snowboarding this weekend so I’m praying to all of the gods that I don’t break a leg.