The Lunar New Year was marked in calendars all over Korea
last weekend; it’s probably the biggest celebration in Korea annually. I was as
excited as all the Koreans as it meant I got a four day weekend. Revelling in
the added social time James, Josh, Susie, and I decided to go skiing/snowboarding.
To make the most of the weekend James, Josh, and I went out on the Thursday
night in Hongdae (for a change). Having got home late Friday morning, an extended
lie-in was needed; we did not get this luxury as we had a coach to catch. We
set alarms that were put on snooze multiple times and before we knew it we were
running out of time. If we missed the coach our weekend was over, but as we all
know there is always time to stop for road beers and soju. We rushed around a
GS25, picking up as much beer and soju as we could carry and headed out. We had
no time to eat and got a taxi to Jamsil. (After many trips out with them I’m
not sure why I rely on James and Josh’s time keeping). We made it in time and
even managed to get the back row of the coach (just like all the cool kids used
to do at school!)The only food I managed to pick up was a packet of chocolate
digestive biscuits. Then the hangover kicked in, I felt horrendous. James announced
that in the rush he didn’t have a poo, which then made Josh need a poo, which
in turn meant that I needed a poo. We were the Shitty Pants Gang and we hadn’t
even left Seoul yet.
The organisers of the weekend had
sold the trip with a promise of a party bus atmosphere on the journey to the
slopes. The “party” started with the film Out Cold, one of the worst films I’ve
ever watched. Seriously don’t bother. There’s not much worse than being
hungover, needing a poo, and watching a terrible movie. People had more
enjoyable experiences on long journeys in the 1940s. Josh was able to stomach a
beer but I couldn’t compete with him at the time. The motto for the weekend was
coined, no matter how bad it got the response was “we’ve got beers though”,
which was usually followed by the second motto of the weekend “I’ll have one
but I don’t want one”.
The film finished and then the
party started, they put music on and the atmosphere lifted. I was still
struggling with my beer but thought it would be a good idea to start on the
soju instead. Bottles of wine were opened, beers were flowing, spirits were being
passed around the coach, and it was majestic. It was like a portable Reading
Festival campsite. They were playing some fantastic tunes, Outkast, Drake,
KanYe West, coincidentally three acts that are playing at this year’s Wireless
Festival. They’ve got together my favourite line-up for the year that I’m out
of the country! Furious.
The only problem with 50 people
drinking a copious amount of alcohol on a coach with no toilet is that breaks
are needed every 45 minutes. And then people get mad with you when you pee in a
bottle. Crazy, right? A benefit of stopping so often is that it gives you the opportunity
to restock on booze, we were fortunate enough to find this beauty of a drink.
It’s a penis drink. We bought two bottles. Back on the bus and we gave it a
whirl, it was only 13% but tasted rank. It was like vinegar. I only had one
shot.
We got to our hotel room and met
the random people we would be sharing with. It’s like Russian roulette that
could potentially make or break the weekend. As they filtered in they all were
great, couldn’t have asked for a better group of people… and by that I meant
they all enjoyed a drink! (I even found a Charlton fan, I told him that I have
a Charlton shirt. I could tell that he was impressed). It could have been
awkward if the people we would be sharing with wanted an early night and we
were up till the late hours drinking, but luckily they were all likeminded. Before
we knew it the rumours spread; “party in room 324!” Our room. All entrants to
the party were forced to have a shot of the penis drink, finally there was a
half-decent way to get rid of the stuff. Neighbouring rooms also became lively
and a few of us went to investigate. In the next room they were playing card
cards but we couldn’t see a drop of alcohol anywhere, what’s wrong with these
people? Cards were only invented to make people drink excessively. We swiftly
left. The night carried on and it was great. I got to the stage where I needed
to sleep, but there was a party in my bedroom. I picked up a blanket and a
pillow and knocked on a random nearby door. “Hi, you don’t know me. Can I sleep
on your floor?” Surprisingly I was let in.
We even got a chance to do some stroke photos. A simple but great idea, invented in the summer of 2013 on a holiday in Zante. You pull a stroke face, dribble beer out of your mouth, and take a photo.
The morning came around and I felt surprisingly fresh considering the volume of consumed alcohol over the past two nights. It was time to try on our rented outfits, they were shocking. Luckily I was blessed with a very desirable double denim get-up. (If you’ve read this blog before then you’re aware that Korea is still living like it’s 1994. The double denim is more proof of this). Over the weekend if you saw a foreigner also wearing a hideous ski outfit then you knew they were with our group. Of our group I was the only one to opt for snowboarding having done it 9 years earlier. Luckily the skills were never lost and it was like riding a bike, I had it nailed after two or three runs down a beginner slope. It was awesome; I kept on wondering why I had left it 9 years to go snowboarding! All the other guys were beginners, pretty much the first time they had skied. Which made me probably the most experienced; I was king of the Shitty Pants Gang. It is a little embarrassing though when the most experienced guy falls pretty hard, not much coming back from that!
We even did a Wagbo audition. I won't go on to explain that one, it just won't be funny. But the pictures are good.
I was rudely awoken at 10am, to
be notified that check-out was in 30 minutes. No time to shower, just pack up
and get out. Whose idea was it to drink the night before?! Back on the slopes
and I was still drunk. Literally one of the worst ideas I’ve ever had. Slide
down a mountain at 40mph, on a slippery board, with no balance, on ice. Like I
said, three nights of intoxication leads to unwise decision making. Time for
breakfast. I realised that I had had nothing nutritional in four days. My diet
had consisted of KFC, Dominoes, Dunkin’ Donuts, a terrible microwavable
spaghetti, chocolate digestives, and alcohol. I eventually sobered up and took
it easy for the rest of the day to make sure I could go back to work on Monday
with no broken bones.
All-in-all it was a cracking weekend, made some great new
friends, had a blast snowboarding, had some great nights, although I’m sure my
liver would not agree. James took some footage of us on the slopes and edited it nicely together, see it below. If you wait till the end there is a short clip which pretty much defines me; I'm wearing a football shirt, and drunkly rapping to KanYe West. It's pretty embarrassing but if you know me at all then you've probably seen this before.
We got home late on Sunday night, and the alarm was set for 6am Monday morning, it comes around too quickly.
