I’ve been teaching now for six weeks and a lot has changed
since that dreaded first day in January, I actually really enjoy it. I find it
so much easier than I did; I try to enjoy each lesson whereas before I’d just
be nervous and sweat a lot. I teach for a total of 24 hours a week, of which I
have 19 hours of lessons that I enjoy and 5 hours that I tolerate, but in the
grander scheme of things 5 hours a week really isn’t that long. I’ve had jobs
in the past whereby I hated all 40 hours a week that I worked.
The child classes that I teach vary so much, some classes
are great and some are so frustrating. In these classes it’s only natural to
have your favourites, they’re usually the ones that do their work and make my life
easier. My favourite kid is a little girl, Anna. One day she cried in my lesson
and I asked her what was wrong, she couldn’t tell me as she was upset and was
struggling to speak English. She didn’t have to tell me though, I knew what had
happened without witnessing it, it was Leo’s fault. Leo (or as I like to call
him, Zanderpuss) is the bane of my life. He is the most disobedient,
destructive, little shit that I have to teach. I crushed his head once in a
door and it made me feel good. That sounds terrible but it was an accident…
honest. He spends my lessons trying to make a break for the door and I stop him
like a prison guard. One day he managed to get past me and opened the door, he
opened it only slightly before I got there and I tried to stop him from
escaping by placing my foot against the base of the door. He opened the door
enough to squeeze his head through before the door hit my foot and sprung back
closing on his head in the process. He milked it for all it was worth, I felt
terrible and he knew it. His play acting went on too long and I dragged his limp
body to a Korean teacher, I explained to her that Leo was hurt and had to go to
the hospital, as quick as a flash he jumped up and ran back to the classroom apparently
unscathed. Like I said, a little shit.
Speaking of little shits, the teenagers are still the worst
class I teach. They are disrespectful and smug and I’m certain they insult me
throughout the lesson in Korean. I only teach them for one hour a week but they
are still the worst. It gives me pleasure that some of them will have to do
military service in the next few years. So far this blog post is just me
moaning about teaching but I genuinely do enjoy it, I just have a few rotten eggs that stand out.
Anyhow, I met my school’s CEO today on one of his school
round-ups. I was introduced to him but apparently his English isn’t that great
so we hardly spoke. Ironic, huh? Anyway he treated us to lunch and we went to
an American style buffet. The food was good, probably the best foreign food I’ve
had since arriving in Korea. But some of the menu items were amusing. The food
was obviously prepared and cooked by Koreans and I can only imagine that they
considered American food and tried to make the most stereotypical food
possible. For example, they had fried chicken, mac and cheese, and fries. But
then they must’ve thought "we need to add some vegetables at some point". But
vegetables aren’t traditionally associated with American cuisine so they had to sneak
them into the menu. They had cranberry pizza and salad cake. Yes, you read
that correctly, salad cake. You probably couldn’t find another two more
opposing culinary words. Only in an American restaurant could you make a salad
unhealthy.
They also had fruit that I’ve never seen before, it’s called
rambutan. To me they looked like Satan’s testicles.
You break the outer skin
(obviously, otherwise they might be quite painful to eat). I opened them both
up and placed them side-by-side. They looked like an eating challenge on I’m a
Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here! One of the Korean teachers said they were nice
so I popped one in, I bit into the fruit only to discover an enormous seed
inside which nearly broke my teeth. The Korean teacher then informed me that
the fruit contained a large seed. It was a bit late for the advice by then! The
Koreans found my oral discomfort very amusing.
Another delicious delight that I’ve had over the past week
is that I’ve had my first full English breakfast since leaving the UK. It wasn’t
bad either. My friend Scott managed to find a place called Chloris Tea &
Coffee, located in Hongdae and reported back with the wondrous news. I had to
go. The food was actually very good but the restaurant was too classy to be
selling an English breakfast. They had antique furniture, arm chairs, and chez
longs. It’s not right, I want a greasy spoon. Heck, I’d even settle for a
Wetherspoon!
The breakfast consisted of sausage (a frankfurter but I’ll let it
slide), bacon, scrambled eggs, toast, mushrooms, tomatoes, a hash brown, and…
salad. That’s how classy this place was. I asked for a cup of tea and I got a
coffee (but again, I’ll let it slide). Back home I enjoy my breakfast with HP
Sauce, nothing but the best. It would have been expecting too much to have
gotten HP Sauce in Korea so I lowered my expectations and requested tomato
sauce but they didn’t have any. Very disappointing. It may sound like I’m
moaning again, far from it. It’s the best breakfast I’ve had since arriving in
Korea. I just think they’re so close to perfection that Chloris Tea &
Coffee should address the minor mistakes. I’m definitely going to go again. My recommendation
to anyone considering moving from the UK to Korea is indulge yourself in the
classics, fish and chips, sausage and mash, a fry-up, pie and mash, a
Sunday roast, Cornish pasties, cottage pie, faggots (both kinds),
toad-in-the-hole, because when you get out here you either won’t find it or it’ll
be a cheap imitation. Oh, and one final piece of advice; bring either HP Sauce
or Bisto gravy with you depending in which side of the Watford Gap you’re from.
